Saturday, July 26, 2014

Face the dawn again

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Slowly recovering all my drained energy back haha. I spent tonight doing non-productive activity and it feels really good to be a couch potato with internet connection once again after weeks of being an active and responsible freshman. Plus Idul Fitri break is coming so I'll have another seven days to assure myself I love my life!!
Seems like I never finish posting about my Lampung trip. And I still have a lot of life events to tell here! Okay, maybe not a lot. Because all the photos I thought I was going to feature in my blog post went to Instagram :x
These was taken on our last afternoon at Kiluan Bay. Yuliana was busy looking for seashells while I tried to take as many pictures of the scenery (uh, and myself) as I could. But I joined her later and collected pretty shells for myself. The next day when we reached the city after hours of exhausting drive, we went to the post office and sent a letter along with the shells to our home addresses (ノ⊙ヮ⊙)ノ both kids are too selfish to share what they found to person other than themselves hahaha.
...and that brown cone shell is now sitting prettily in a glass jar on my working desk (。 ◠ヮ◠)

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I have nowhere to put my feet

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Whoa. This month it feels like I couldn't breathe at all. University choir mini-concert preparation, barely got enough sleep because of papers due the next day every week, group projects where not everyone was willing to cooperate, taking care of my major's student welcoming, settling all the letters and bills because I'm moving out of my current condo, but yeah, still better than cramming until dawn comes in high school :/
...last weekend I was out of the country for my grandma's cremation. Not that close to her, but- still, I've spent quite a number of years living together with her. Family is family, after all.
I don't know why I cried, because of the things I did to her as an immature adolescent? Or because of the regret that I didn't spend enough time trying to tighten the bond with her?
Maybe it was both. I didn't even realize all my fault until she was gone.
But I've chanted all the prayers I could that I hope can be heard of,
I hope she still remembers my voice.

I hate to pour my negative emotion into a space that's supposed to deliver delight to others. But when you're tired and you barely have time for yourself, the thoughts you thought doesn't matter; the ones you always brush off, find their home again in your mind. And the battle between your ego and civilized self is getting more intense, feeding the small matters into big ones and big problems into huge ones.
I don't know why I'm writing it here-I have nowhere to tell it to. Maybe because I want attention. Maybe because it's tiring to look happy-go-lucky all the time and inside myself I plea for people to see the hint of burden I carry in my eyes. But recognizing it will bring no use, because I'd still keep my mouth shut about what's happening.
I know, I don't really understand myself hahaha.
Well and it's too late to be online now for someone who has morning class tomorrow, going to sleep~! ٩(❛ัᴗ❛ั )

Friday, July 4, 2014

Busy morning and evening rush hour

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Had pretty lunch with friends on a school day off. In May (˼●̙̂ ̟ ̟̎ ̟ ̘●̂˻)
Huhu I know it's really late. I've been attached with uni tasks again since early June, and probably will still be until late July. There are so much things I want to do. Learn new languages, start drawing daily, read more books, watch inspirational movies I've never seen,...ugh. But to gather the determination to close Tumblr tab and start doing assignment instead has already take 80% of my night time. So, yeah.
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